you are growing up way too fast for your momma! They told me when I was having you, enjoy everything, treasure the simple moments because your kids grow up sooo fast... I didn't believe them really until now I know what they mean. You do something new every day.
Today things you were doing --- You have started saying "Yah Mom" to everything I say - but its cute almost like a jamaican says Ya Mon --- you say Yah mom - very calmly and matter-of-factly! You want yogurt, yah mom, you wanna take a bath, Yah Mom.... so cute. Today Nanna and Pop came over because they just missed you and Dad was going to go hunting with Laurance and Kim to shoot at some ducks!
So we went to dinner with them at Applebees and you were alll over the booth - I guess you are outgrowing the high chair thing but you don't like to sit in a booster chair either - or at least sit still anyway! You were singing in the restaurant and people at other tables kept looking at you and laughing and smiling because you were being so cute.
You started singing "Row Boat" and you made up a song about "Minnie" mouse.... When we got home and pulled in the driveway you said "HOMMMME!" because you knew exactly where we were. Nana read you many stories tonight and then said she would give you a bath. You ran after her when she even mentioned the word and were attempting to strip your clothes off the best you could. I heard you and Nana in the bathroom laughing and having a good old time --- hearing the sound of your laughter - it makes the rest of things in life seem to fade into the background. You are almost always such a happy boy, full of laughter, talking, singing, jumping around, getting into things and learning about this world around you. What's that mommy, and that, what's that , for ever this game goes on,but you pick things up!
You splashed the heck out of nana tonight and when we were getting you dressed and she told me all about it you said "I FONNY!" and just cracked yourself up laughing. It was pretty stinking adorable if I don't say so myself! So I tried to get you to say it again but you wouldn't ---- but right before bed I asked you again Max are you funny ? and you laughed at me and said "I FONNNNY Momma!"
Obviously this pregnancy makes me way more emotional even than I normally am --- writing all this down makes me cry - happy tears mostly because I just know how lucky I am, how much I just adore you - and if I ever take you or any time we have together I certainly don't mean to. I really try to be the best mommy I can to you Max - you make it easy most of the time and I just know how lucky I am to have you in my life. You have the power to make even the worst of my days happy again - with just a smile and running up to hug me when you are at daycare.
When I am stressing about things getting done around the house - dishes, laundry, and picking up the house - and you say " 'Mon Mommy - Come Play!! Play Mommy?" you are irresistible and its easy to choose what is truly important --- Forgive me when I forget this and get sidetracked about things that are less important as I try to manage our house and busy lives... I love you more than anything and I just know that the Lord has amazing plans for our family. I hope I get to watch you grow up and become the amazing man that I know you are gonna end up becoming ---- you are so kind and sweet. So smart, so creative. and so funny! I just love your personality.
God forbid Max if something ever happens to me - you will at least have some of the things I have written here and in other places --- to know how much you are loved and adored by your mom! I was visiting with a friend of mine that I went to high school with today - Ashley - she is a year younger than me and we became really good friends last year and a half because I started going to Weight Watchers and her and her mother go there --- anyway she got to know you from about 6 months on and just fell in love with you of course and love me bringing you to all the meetings. You were a big hit there always! Anyway she asked about you today and of course I can go on and on about all you do and how awesome I think you are --- and I told her you know I guess all parents think their kids are awesome and incredible === and Ashley said yah that's true --- but Max - he really is awesome - she said Megan I mean seriously - Max is a cool little dude --- and we laughed.
I asked your nana what happens when you have another kid --- how do you do it? How do you love them both and make it fair and even --- I told her as a kid I never did believe her when she said she "loved us all the same and equally and didn't have a favorite"! She told me it's true. You fall in love with each of your children - and they are all different and that's what's so great is that you don't have to make more room to love them - there's plenty of love in you to love every single one of your children and everything that they are.
I worry how you'll adjust - I worry how I will make sure I always make the next baby feel like they are just as special as you are because I know they will be incredible too. I'm sad that in your little-kid head you might even question that I don't love you or anything like that! I know that's silly and you will adjust because you are resilient --- but I am scared to make sure I pay all my kids good attention. They always say the oldest kid gets way more photos, and special attention most of their lives.
No matter what, you sure will always have a special place in my heart --- you are my first love. I have to say I truly feel sad for the women that are unable or choose not to have children for reasons of their own. I think that many of them have no idea what amazing things they are missing out on --- you definitely have changed me forever --- it's hard for me to remember what it was like without you in my life... No matter who you become or what you do with your life --- your mom will always love you more than you will ever be able to wrap your head around - probably at least not until you have children of your own --- Then it will click and you may be able to understand a bit! :)
I am rambling here --- I just hope you always always know that you are loved. I love my life, love my family --- and wouldn't change a thing.
Funny thing I just remembered
and I will add the photo on here --- tonight you were playing and your cheeks were just the perfect shade of rosy pink and you looked adorable --- and then as you were playing with Mr.Potato Head you decided to walk around the house being silly with his ears held up in your own ears... it was precious and the picture is so funny!
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